Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
