Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
