i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
