oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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