Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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