Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize