the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize