I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
