I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
A+ Viking dick
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
