well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i came on her dog
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
