are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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