hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
