I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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