Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I met the friendliest cop last night
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
