Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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