one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize