You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
