Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
