Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
