I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
