saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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