I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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