i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
