remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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