meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
