We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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