What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
