she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
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