this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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