the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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