at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
