Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
