put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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