How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
