I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
