it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
