How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
