Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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