LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
