Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize