It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
