Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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