I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
