They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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