she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
