Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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