Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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