you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
