Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
