you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
