There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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