I CAN MOONWALK!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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