Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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