Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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