I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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