i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
