don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
