I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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