Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
