My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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