She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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