my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
