He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
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