i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
