This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
