He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize