I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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